What Rules My Heart?

Good question . . . I am not sure these days. I just confided to a friend that I am carrying some deep resentments and her response? “it’s understandable…but just don’t let it ‘rule your heart.'” Good advice, hard to control.

Rule my heart . . . I can’t decide if my heart is numb or in overdrive. It is either a boat that won’t start or one that is in the water spinning wildly out of control as if it has nobody at the helm.
Maybe that is it. My heart is a boat in the water that I used to think I had well under control. Then on December 7th, I hit a crushing wave that threw me away from the controls and now the boat is spinning totally out of control and I can’t seem to get back to my feet to regain control of the vessel.
I think that I’ve stopped trying to get back up; there is no use in trying. I am just hoping to run out of gas