What I used to REALLY think . . .

In Isaiah 39 Hezekiah was warned that there were bad times coming when he would lose his possessions; there would be nothing left.  Even his sons would be taken into exile.  To this news,  “8Hezekiah replied to Isaiah, ‘Good. If God says so, it’s good.'” I have found that in response of Christopher death that there are people who would say what Hezekiah said, “Good.  If God says so, it’s good.”  I would have to confess that I might have felt that way, but I am here to testify that when it is you that is in the midst of the reality of losing that which you hold most dear, you find that the view is significantly different.

That is when we discover that we really believe.  Isaiah 29:8 goes on to tell us what Hezekiah really believed when it says, “Within himself he was thinking, ‘But surely nothing bad will happen in my lifetime. I’ll enjoy peace and stability as long as I live.'” 

As parents we know that our children are just gifts to us; we often say that they are on loan because they belong to God.  That is true.  I really thought that I believed.  But words are easy.  When the reality of letting go comes, the view is totally different.

A dear friend, who I have know since she was a little girl promoted me yesterday.  She no longer thinks of me as a family friend of someone she knows from church, but I am a friend.  What a precious gift.  The truth is that with any gift, there is risk.  I will someday, perhaps, lose her, but I will enjoy her friendship to until that time may come.

I think that we need to consciously remind ourselves of this reality each and every day.  We don’t ever know if we believe it until we are faced with the implications and God, in his loving sovereignty, decides to take back that which we knew all along was his.  That is when the rubber meets the road.

Throughout the grieving process I have had to confess.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed Christopher far more than most parents enjoyed their children; I have no regrets on that front.  What I have realized, is that I took him for granted.  Not him, as much as the God who gave him to me.  I thought he was mine and I missed the gift of the Giver who shared him with me.

I pray people will consider this and learn from me.  Enjoy the gift, but always, always be reminded of the love of the Giver who shared a precious child of His with you.