Beginning Again

I Tim. 6:12 – Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

I am so ready to take hold of the eternal life to which I have been called.  I don’t think that this is something that everybody can do simply because we are eternal beings.  I believe that this is part of the promises that those who are in Christ can enjoy.  It is for today because “the old has gone, the new has come!” is the promise found in 2 Cor. 5:17.

I have a lot of “old” of which I need to let go and there is a lot of “new” that I have yet to discover.  I pray that God would give me the strength to pursue the “new” so that I, through Him, have strength to resist the tug back to that which, though painful, is comfortable.  There is a long time adage that says that old habits die hard.  For me, the hardest habits to kick have been of thought processes rather than actions.

My experience is that thought patterns are much more difficult to deal with because they are so easily concealed.  You’ve heard of closet alcoholics, but we must know about them to have labeled them.  Ultimately, there is evidence to be found of such damaging habits.  I believe this to be true of the habits that I have within my mind.  You may never see them directly, but lately I have had a lot of true friends point out how damaging this way of thinking has become.

I am holding myself back from being who God has called me to be; who He has created me to be.  I got a taste of the potential in Christ in my years with Christopher.  Since his death, I have allowed myself to be vaulted back to some old “stinkin’ thinkin'”  Dear friends have told me that they missed the Judy that they had seen for many years now.  I realized that I was allowing who Christopher helped me to allow myself to be lost in the wave of my grief.  

This would be so disappointing to Christopher and even more so, very dishonoring to God.  It is God that has done the good work in my life; He may have used Christopher, but it was His work.  I need to let him do that work again, getting out of his way.  My over-thinking, self-centered thinking, has taken my attention away from the future that God has for me.

Father, I confess that I have not believed who you have declared me to be;  I pray that you would continue to help me see and feel Your love, making it impossible to be overtaken by my wayward ways of thinking.  I need You and I thank You that You are my refuge.  May I find rest in You and You alone.